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No Football Talk

Serzh Velychanskyi
15 May 2018

So, you’ve come to Kyiv to watch the football. You may have noticed as well that Kyiv boasts some of the most attractive women in the world. Want to connect? Don’t talk about football.
Yes, I know. It’s the Champions League – one of the greatest games of the year. What else would you talk about at such a significant time..? Without coming off as sexist, there are few women out there however who will find talk about Ronaldo’s back heel as interesting as his back side, believe it or not. In the case you do find yourself on the company of a beautiful woman while you’re here, and you’re at a loss for words, let me help. Here’s a few tips to stay afloat.

  1. First and foremost – be interesting! Choose a topic, any topic: cinema, travel, adventure. Whatever you talk about, girls like to be entertained. They want you to allure them into a subject, and humour helps immensely.
  2. Secondly – be attentive! While point one stands, the ladies also want to be an active participant in the conversation, so let them share their experiences on the topic and try not to dominate!
  3. Hugely important here guys – are you listening? Never, and I mean never, talk about your ex. All attempts to try to impress her with your previous successes will lead to a dead end.
  4. Less widely-known but just as important, try to stay away from topics that deal with the economy, politics, race, etc, at least on the first date. She doesn’t want to know why your perfect business plan failed or how BREXIT actually won (well, on this one she might actually be curious – I know I am). She wants to spend time with someone who is interested in interesting things, motivated, and purpose-driven.
  5. Generally speaking, and I’ve had some practice here, it’s not what you talk about, but how. If you can prove to her that you’re actually interested in what she has to say, she may not only let you watch the final (for those of you poor buggers who didn’t get tickets), but will want to watch it with you.

PS – try not to get frustrated when she asks about the colour schemes of their kits.

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